Until divorce do us part

Until divorce do us part
From 171 cases in 2006 to 129 divorces in the last 5 months, married couples in Goa are hurtling towards separations faster than you can say ‘I do’, find out Rajeshree Nagarsekar & Preetu Nair


Three days into her marriage, Rohini (name changed on request) decided her husband’s “sexual perversion” and “absurd” requests in bed, were enough reason to end their marriage.
Rudolf on the other hand, had a perfect family and an adjusting wife who never complained if he was drunk or gambled. But all hell broke lose when the missus started working. Unable to cope with a financially independent partner, he filed for divorce as he had found himself another “soul mate”. When the wife refused, the divorce got bitter with him alleging illtreatment by his wife.
Blame it on women’s emancipation, partners staying apart for long periods due to a job abroad, alcoholism related physical and sexual abuse or plain intolerance towards each other, but couples in “unhappy” marriages today are more likely to go to a lawyer, than stay together for the sake of the family, say observers.
“Incidents of divorce are increasing in Goa. The break-up of joint families has only worsened matters. Gone are the days when the in-laws bore the blame for a marriage not working. Now the couple amicably decides to end their marriage legally,” says Margao Judicial Magistrate First Class superintendent M Rodrigues.
Marriage counsellors and social scientists believe that the dependence of increasing number of Goans on foreign jobs is in some ways linked to the increasing number of divorce petitions filed. “Either a husband or wife works abroad, leaving one spouse at home to look after the family. The physical and emotional attachment between the couple decreases, even as proximity with a friend or associate increases. There are several cases where couples seek divorce as they feel cheated by their spouse,” says marriage analyst Dr Sadia Marques.
There is also another problem. “Men often seek weird sexual gratification and women find it difficult to adjust. Even television shows that promote extra-marital relationships have a negative impact and are a main cause for increasing divorce rates,” says activist Auda Viegas. Emotional and physical abuse are other factors.
Physical and mental stress has taken its toll. The inability to cope with mounting pressure leads to communication gap between couples. “The woman’s role must have changed for the world but at home she is still expected to be a traditional wife, donning the cap of a perfect homemaker. Men still refuse to help out at home and this leads to conflicts in marriage,” says advocate Caroline Colaco.

2008 May 30 Times Of India Goa